The Speakable Heart

It's a good day and all I heard is bad news.
Dear dad, I know things are very rough for you.
You know I'm always here, the family is always here for you.
We will never stop praying to Allah so that things will get better as soon as possible.
Insya Allah.


And to you love, I hope things with you will get better as well.
I won't stop praying for you and your happiness

Words of Hope

It's crazy to pretend that I don't think of you. The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow. How much longer can I hold on to. Things are just so wonderful to have someone inspires you all the time. In my case, you're my inspiration. But, u know life hasn't been really smooth for me. It's really hard. I know that crying won't solve anything but I just can't seem to stop. I don't really eat, I've got no appetite.


I wanna get back to the old me. Not the bad one but the good one.The one who doesn't get mad easily. The one who's never rude to people. The one who smiles all the time. The one who never gives up. The one who believe in herself. The one who's not good in bad words. The one who can be trusted. The one who studies really hard. And not the one who cries whitout a heart.

Do you know

Every morning when the sun would shine on me, I'd flash a smile but deep inside my heart I feel so sad and lonely. I wonder why I should meet them again.Why I should attend the programmes.It's a hell for me.Cause I couldn't find even a reason for me to join all the things.I don't know why am I right now.Everything seems like boring and stupid for me. I think I am totally insane.

My brain has been functioning really hard today No rest no nothing I've been thinking about so many things
About me, you, and them But most importantly, I've been thinking without stopping about how much I miss you. 

Why

It has been ages since I last updated. And here I am again.As far as I can see, people has stopped reading blogs. Due to that, I'm gonna make this blog as something personal. A sort of a diary, where I write whatever I have in my heart. From the happiness of life, till the sadness of living. It's all gonna be on here

Life hasn't been the same for me this past few days. I've got no one to talk to at night. No wake up calls to make. No one to text whenever I'm going somewhere. I just miss doing all that.

DAD

I went out with the family today.Well, it was fun but It may be more fun if you are here with us.I really miss my time with you. Especially seeing you happy, laughing and everything.He had some problems nowadays. I'm so worried about you. I hope things are going fine at the office. I didn't know he is such a good pretender.Oh God, I really wish I can help him,I will never stop praying to Allah for you. InsyaAllah things will be fine.Amin.

Just for you Ainaa

Today I'm gonna write to one of my best friend . This is everything about her that I know. 

Dearest girl,

Years of being friends have taught me so many things about you, about myself and obviously about life. You told me so many things that have changed my mind. In fact, you did change how I live my life . You always seem to think nobody loves you (I think). But I'm here to tell that was never true. I'm here to help you in anyway I can even if it's over a man. You're just so nice that I couldn't afford to lose you. You're always there for me whenever I need you. Thank you for a zillion for being my best listener. Thank you for your awesome words that changed me a little bit .May Allah bless you for your awesome personalities. I know that you have your hard times, but do keep in mind that I'm always gonna be here for you no matter how weird life will be. You had been there for me when I had my time, so it's my turn to do so. So, just don't give up in life okay? I wanna take this opportunity to say sorry for all the wrong things I have done throughout our friendship.

Happy Birthday ! and Thanks again for being there for me. Listen to every single thing I have to say.Sing with me(sometimes). Go out with me. Teach me in chemistry add maths and everyhting. Go out with me for movies or even shopping. Giving me lots of compliments. Friends come and go but our friendsip will always stay forever. InsyaAllah :)

A very sad morning

Today, when I woke up I found myself crying without a reason. It has been awhile since I had these feelings. It's weird, very weird. as if I can't describe what feeling are these. But I know, if I woke up with tears in my eyes and one rolling down my cheek, I knew I must have been dreaming of you again. Currently, I feel so messed up. I wanna let it out so badly but one problem. I don't know what to let out. The only way to get rid of this feelings is just cry. . But Im tired of it. Like seriously sick of tears. What can I do now. I'm sorry to dissapointing you again .

I knew things aren't right and I am so true about that. You see, we are born with feelings. Feelings make you feel things like love, hate, like and dislike. Without feelings, you're not a human.so, I know how you really feel about me right now.I'm sorry again.

Talking to the Moon

It's already late now. I think I should go to bed . But I can't. I really wanna go to the beach right now and sit on the white sand under the beautiful stars . I know it such a crazy idea. But I think by doing this I could solve all my problems and It will make me calm for sure. I need to clear up these messes in my head right now. What I meant by messes is that I really miss him and this one problem that I couldn't tell. I don't wanna be here at the time being. I wanna go out of Malaysia and stay there for a couple of weeks.

Well,thanks dad for being such a very understanding father. I'm goin to Sydney for a couple of weeks and I'll be off  this tuesday.I know Life is will just getting better day by day without the sadness (: Soo, I'll learnt lots of things  for now. I think I should sleep now and try to forget everything . and now I'm listening to Bruno Mars talking to the moon . And just so you know this song made me feel like crying so much .