Something to talk about

I really think that I need to go to sleep now. But,before I meet my comfortable comforter I would like to fabricate some words that might not be that important for you guys , It just what I felt these past few days.

Presentation
Firstly, I was pretty sure that my management presentation last thursday was bad , like seriusly bad . I am not that good in fabricating words infront of others ,writing is much much better I guess. But , at least we did it right.

Conversation
Second , talked with Rash de Audey thru skype was fantastic ! Also, skype with latiff my schoolmate and that  was amazing ! I miss this two person so much that i can't even tell . Chatting with latiff was funny and of course talking to him totally released my stress out.

Trying to write something

Currently I have been living in this world for almost eighteen years . Througout my journey of life , I have met many different kind of people. Each of them carries different kind of personalities. Some were good, and some were bad. Yahh! actually , I'm struggling to write something cause I didn't know what to say and what I'm about to tell you guys and now I think I'm a little bit annoying.

Friends

No matter how wrong things are between us . We still take a good care of each other. It's a lie if I say I am not jealous at all. To tell the truth , I am jealous. Knowing how happy you guys there,without me around. I am thinking of so many ways to tell you guys about this but I just didn't have the heart cause i didn't wanna take your happiness away.I decided to just keep it silence.In this case, it's no one's fault.It just came and we didn't  see it coming at first. If I had a chance to turn back time, I would like to go back to those days where we were being very happy together being the best friend that no one could ever separate us. I miss all those crazy time with my very bestfriend .

Something not so good

I don't know what changes things these days.Everything seems to be easily detachable.But I am glad I have this faith in God,in what He has written for me.

Sometimes I love being silence and sometimes I love being noisy.But Nowadays , Silence tend to invade me even when I'm surrounded by noises.People can't see it physically cause it is not the physical silence that I meant.It is a silence from my ownself. I am not myself from the past and I'm not myself from the future either, but I am what i am now. A girl who being silence from her ownself. People might not really understand what am I realy talking about but I believe that every human sometimes have to face this strange feeling.It is awful to be unheard and unseen. But I guess I have to be strong in every way. Because this time I'm standing alone.

An old song for an old memories

Everybody need a little time away
I heard her say, from each other
Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say,
I just want you to stay

After all that you've been through
I will make it up to you, I promise you baby
And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go
Couldn't stand to be kept away
Not for a day, from your body
Wouldn't wanna be swept away
Far away from the one that I love

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say, I'm sorry
I just want you to know
I really wanna tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you, I promise you
And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go
I can't let go

Sadness

Today we skype. Maybe for the last time.When my mind went back to those old memories , I cries myself so much quiet where nobody would ever hear . Every night and day i will pray for the best of me.I'm the girl who would smile but hides the pain inside.I'm a girl who never stop wishing and waiting for miracle to come.

I still in love with you  and I'm very sure that you didn't know about that.even when you had to leave and even you neglecting me behind I will always love you for you and keep loving you for you. Beyong time and beyond distance.

-Long distance relationship -

My sunshine is back

The most priceless thing I ever received in my whole life was my family. Couldn't be anymore grateful for having my family. Family of course taught me almost everything in my life. In my heart you guys belong there.The first place in my heart.Love you guys more than any words can say.

As everybody know. It was very hard for my family to gather together in every special day.
Sometimes I will celebrate eid just with my little brother while parents celebrating in Oman and Amjad will be in Dubai as usual and abg syafeeq will celebrating eid with the birds ,the sun, and the wind.

Well, this year it was different.everybody's here to celebrate eid together. Let me tell you something.
Actually, Today abang syafeeq nak blanja us buka puasa at The Zone hotel. we didn't expect anything bcause abang pon mmg a good actor dalam bab2 berlakon ni.

Then, while everybody busy with the food tibe2 AMJAD BIN ABDUL LATIB (my 2nd brother yang almost 2 years tak jumpa ) muncul depan kita.Ya Allah,seriously I was shocked and my tears just rolled down without me being noticed.I was touched.seriously.I loss my appetite.He brought some macaroons for us.SO many choclates , present and much more things. You know what abang.I really miss you and welcome back home to Malaysia.even you will be here just for a few weeks but I'm glad that you're here.

At last, baru semua orng tau yang actually, abang syafeeq, kak erika and amjad dah plan sebulan lepas untuk surprise kan kitorng.thanks for that.My mom pucat sangat lepas tengok amjad yang tibe2 muncul tapi as the world greatest mom in the world mom cool je dan hilang selera juga sebab terkejut.well,tomorrow abang syafeeq nak blanja buka puasa dekat Traders Hotel.apa pulak lah surprise abang lepas ni kan.

Thats all for tonight.I hope u guys enjoy to read a lil bit story of mine yang tak membawa kepada pengajaran sangat pon.just nk lepaskan betapa excitednya bila jumpa someone yang kita rindu sangat2.

-Amjad-

Bad week I'm having

First of all, my management quiz was bad . Almost every answer of mine was wrong. went to college everyday with a moody mood. But thanks to my friends who always there to make my day better . Just so you know, in this week i get to know this two jejaka yang keep texting me all the time. Seriously they make my life serabut. Honestly, I am now, like don't use your words just to keep me impressed with you guys. Please ! Fine someone else plus this two people is super duper senior for me even older than abg peet.It's not the issue pun but i really need to study hard now.Don't disturb me.Go find your true self and strive for your dreams.I don't think I want this anymore. A great Hello from you and a simple Hi from me.I know you expected more. But sorry, I just can't.

Why

" You know how much pain that I have to bear.

 Let's start again. 

All i've ever done was make things hard for you but

I will always there for you.I can't go on without you.

Our relationship is like a fixed destiny. 

I will repay all of the tears that made things difficult to you. 

What I'm happy about is that your smile currently resembles mine . 

I love you.  Let's start again " 

I just can't believe one small little tiny thing I saw just not would affect my life so badly.But,who cares! well ,from now on , what I really want in my life is to be a better person and to live my life to the fullest.Maybe It is true that what I really need to do now is studying as hard as I can so that I can forget all the sadness and sorrow and start a new life as a person who never give up on every obstacle that may occur in the future.InsyaAllah.I'll do my best !

Wonderful

The most beautiful day: today
The greatest obstacle: fear
The easiest thing: to be wrong
The root of all evil: egoism
The most beautiful distraction: work
The worst defeat: discouragement
The first necessity: to communicate
What makes me the happiest: being useful to the rest of mankind
The most gratifying sensation: inner peace
The best cure: optimism
The strongest force in the world: faith
The most necessary people: parents
The most beautiful thing in the world: love

A very Long Day

Today was a very long day and today's life of mine is super duper busy like a restless bee.Wake up in the early morning and my laziness keep on killing me. I got headache the whole day . Well , all classes today was quiet fun.I really fall in love with Ms Azura way of teaching the subject. She never get tired of teaching us again and again. Not to forget Mdm Aida and Mdm Wani,they both are a very superb lecturer that always giving their best on making us understand on what they are teaching.

You should Know

It has been ages since my last update. I was really busy with studies.I don't know why but lately I'll be feeling a little restless and uncomfortable with things. I tend to think a lot, without stopping. I would feel very dizzy and sometimes started to throwing up.

Sorry

I've came out with a new conclusion which I concluded few days ago. I will stop doing it. I felt bad, that's why I want to stop. I'm sorry and I apologize. I wanna change for good

Know It

Words might be nothing for you but you should know that everything I said was all from my heart. You might not see the truth but I know that you already knew the truth. I told you I have something to say. You shouldn't be worried about it cause you know what I wanted to say.

The Speakable Heart

It's a good day and all I heard is bad news.
Dear dad, I know things are very rough for you.
You know I'm always here, the family is always here for you.
We will never stop praying to Allah so that things will get better as soon as possible.
Insya Allah.


And to you love, I hope things with you will get better as well.
I won't stop praying for you and your happiness

Words of Hope

It's crazy to pretend that I don't think of you. The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow. How much longer can I hold on to. Things are just so wonderful to have someone inspires you all the time. In my case, you're my inspiration. But, u know life hasn't been really smooth for me. It's really hard. I know that crying won't solve anything but I just can't seem to stop. I don't really eat, I've got no appetite.


I wanna get back to the old me. Not the bad one but the good one.The one who doesn't get mad easily. The one who's never rude to people. The one who smiles all the time. The one who never gives up. The one who believe in herself. The one who's not good in bad words. The one who can be trusted. The one who studies really hard. And not the one who cries whitout a heart.

Do you know

Every morning when the sun would shine on me, I'd flash a smile but deep inside my heart I feel so sad and lonely. I wonder why I should meet them again.Why I should attend the programmes.It's a hell for me.Cause I couldn't find even a reason for me to join all the things.I don't know why am I right now.Everything seems like boring and stupid for me. I think I am totally insane.

My brain has been functioning really hard today No rest no nothing I've been thinking about so many things
About me, you, and them But most importantly, I've been thinking without stopping about how much I miss you. 

Why

It has been ages since I last updated. And here I am again.As far as I can see, people has stopped reading blogs. Due to that, I'm gonna make this blog as something personal. A sort of a diary, where I write whatever I have in my heart. From the happiness of life, till the sadness of living. It's all gonna be on here

Life hasn't been the same for me this past few days. I've got no one to talk to at night. No wake up calls to make. No one to text whenever I'm going somewhere. I just miss doing all that.

DAD

I went out with the family today.Well, it was fun but It may be more fun if you are here with us.I really miss my time with you. Especially seeing you happy, laughing and everything.He had some problems nowadays. I'm so worried about you. I hope things are going fine at the office. I didn't know he is such a good pretender.Oh God, I really wish I can help him,I will never stop praying to Allah for you. InsyaAllah things will be fine.Amin.

Just for you Ainaa

Today I'm gonna write to one of my best friend . This is everything about her that I know. 

Dearest girl,

Years of being friends have taught me so many things about you, about myself and obviously about life. You told me so many things that have changed my mind. In fact, you did change how I live my life . You always seem to think nobody loves you (I think). But I'm here to tell that was never true. I'm here to help you in anyway I can even if it's over a man. You're just so nice that I couldn't afford to lose you. You're always there for me whenever I need you. Thank you for a zillion for being my best listener. Thank you for your awesome words that changed me a little bit .May Allah bless you for your awesome personalities. I know that you have your hard times, but do keep in mind that I'm always gonna be here for you no matter how weird life will be. You had been there for me when I had my time, so it's my turn to do so. So, just don't give up in life okay? I wanna take this opportunity to say sorry for all the wrong things I have done throughout our friendship.

Happy Birthday ! and Thanks again for being there for me. Listen to every single thing I have to say.Sing with me(sometimes). Go out with me. Teach me in chemistry add maths and everyhting. Go out with me for movies or even shopping. Giving me lots of compliments. Friends come and go but our friendsip will always stay forever. InsyaAllah :)

A very sad morning

Today, when I woke up I found myself crying without a reason. It has been awhile since I had these feelings. It's weird, very weird. as if I can't describe what feeling are these. But I know, if I woke up with tears in my eyes and one rolling down my cheek, I knew I must have been dreaming of you again. Currently, I feel so messed up. I wanna let it out so badly but one problem. I don't know what to let out. The only way to get rid of this feelings is just cry. . But Im tired of it. Like seriously sick of tears. What can I do now. I'm sorry to dissapointing you again .

I knew things aren't right and I am so true about that. You see, we are born with feelings. Feelings make you feel things like love, hate, like and dislike. Without feelings, you're not a human.so, I know how you really feel about me right now.I'm sorry again.

Talking to the Moon

It's already late now. I think I should go to bed . But I can't. I really wanna go to the beach right now and sit on the white sand under the beautiful stars . I know it such a crazy idea. But I think by doing this I could solve all my problems and It will make me calm for sure. I need to clear up these messes in my head right now. What I meant by messes is that I really miss him and this one problem that I couldn't tell. I don't wanna be here at the time being. I wanna go out of Malaysia and stay there for a couple of weeks.

Well,thanks dad for being such a very understanding father. I'm goin to Sydney for a couple of weeks and I'll be off  this tuesday.I know Life is will just getting better day by day without the sadness (: Soo, I'll learnt lots of things  for now. I think I should sleep now and try to forget everything . and now I'm listening to Bruno Mars talking to the moon . And just so you know this song made me feel like crying so much .

Where is the good in goodbye?

Today, I don't know why but it just that I feel like very very lonely day compared to other days. It's a very sad day. Its just a simple and plain sad day. I know today everybody especially my friends will begin their new chapter.There’s some great and exciting stuff about this but for today I am feeling like a sentimental old fool saying goodbye to some really good times and a relationship that was the longest and strongest of my life

Why they have to said goodbye. But I know all good things come to an end for a reason. It’s the right time for us to go our separate ways.  think its human nature though . My friends were so nice to me and it was too hard for me to tell goodbye.I was so sad cause we have to separate each others. I miss them a lot . Eventhough I know that my friends will meet their new friends and it really made me even sadder as i really scared that they will one day totally forget about me.Please forget me not.I'm lying if I say I'm not crying now. So, I just wanna say Good Bye to those who going into matriks , uni or even college in this month. I Love you like hell!

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos

To a very best friend

We all have that one person whom we think about from time to time. It's either friends or our beloved . Just like me. I always think about one of my best friend. Sometimes we bond with the person over similarities and sometimes the bond of friendship are formed over time. This person that i always think about is one of my highschool friends. I became friends with him when i was 14. It was easy for me to talk with him because we didn't really know each other very well at that time .He was an ear to listen to me and a shoulder for me to lean on . He always give the best advices about something to me and never get tired of listening some of my problems. But now, he's going into university and of course our relationship will end up just like that. so, if you do read this one day, always remember that i will always pray for your success and be a very great lawyer one day .

I did it !

Alhamdulillah. I passed my JPJ test today . What a relieve. I just can't believe that I passed the test in the first round . I'm so glad. Thanks God for giving this to me. I arrived at the driving center about 10.00 and was shocked that so many people were there already. There were people from 1st session that which started at 8.00 and I was in the 2nd session which will start around at 11.00. I got number 30 which means more waiting. So you can imagine waiting for my turn was like a long day.

I sat there and observed how people drive the car, whether they passed or failed. Some people were driven back by the JPJ tester during the road test(section 3) and that means : FAIL. Sitting there watching them only made me more and more nervous. I was thinking :" What if I got a crappy car? What if I fail? No way. I can't fail.

Finally! The time has come! My number was called for section 2 and I started walking slowly towards the car. I told myself JUST DO IT! I went slow and steady all the way and passed! I'm so happy! Now that I have passed the section 2, there is only section 3 left.

After another long wait, its finally my turn for the road test already. I can't wait to get it done already. I'm tired of waiting, I don't care whether I will pass or fail.

I got into the car, greet the officer and did all the necessary things that could helped me to get points. That officer did not said anything at first but showed his true colours after I drove out from the driving center. He was frequently yelling and scolding at me, trying to make me nervous. Well, you can't expect me to be completely calm as it was the first time I'm driving alone. Haha! Believe me

I was shocked almost to death after all the scolding. He's so mean! I thought I had failed the test but when he handed me the paper, OMG! 17/20! I passed!Alhamdulillah.

Well, Thank you so much to all my friend who never get tired of giving me advices and wishing me good luck. Especially for Fatin and Juwairiah for telling me the 6 things to do before start the driving and for Anah , nik and Mirash for wishing me good luck and lastly for the very Superb Latiff Idham sbb praying for me to pass the test also for giving me support.Thank You so much friends.I Love you and will always do.

What a Wonderful People

Just Me


I used to be someone who hated hurting people's feelings but people ended up hurting mine. Now I'm the other way round. I used to hate when my phone started ringing and bugging my life. But I get so upset now when it does not gives out sounds at all. I used to love having such a beautiful life. I tend to hate my life now when too much problems came up. I used to be quite strong in handling tears. Now tears overcome me. I used to just hate bad people's evil deeds. Now, I'm having the hatred towards human. Isn't it very unhealthy? I just realized that now.

To the One I've been really close to


I am sorry if I'm such a disappointment to you. Sometimes things are just not meant to be like how you wanted. Do keep in mind that I will love you as we are friends, close friends. Let's get close like last time. I really don't wanna lose you cause you know, life means nothing when you don't have friends. I don't wanna say much cause I've said it lots of times before this. Are we cool? Please say yes, I really wish for that.



Dear My Girlies

Thank you so much for helping me out a lot . When it comes to trouble , I always go and refer to you . Sometimes I don't even tell you things but you figured it out all by yourselves. I guess you know me quite well. Thanks for the patience while you're with me. You know I love you. Bestfriends for life. Without you , there's no life . Thanks a lot to Dila,fanah,fiqah,azie,nik,che nor .

Wanted !

When I was in Oman, My treat a couple of times a week is going to Costa Coffee. I either have a skinny latte and a Tuna sandwich or a skinny latte with a packet of Tyrell Crisps or sometimes I have a Double Choclate Milk shake with Pain Au De Choclate (my favourite) . I usually get them and shared with my little brother.

Also,the Costa Hot choclate was very nice with cream and marsmallows . omg ! I can't forget all the time I had spent at the Costa Coffee . But why ?? Why Malaysia don't have this costa coffee!

Well , Since there were no Costa Coffee in Malaysia , I used to spent my time in starbucks and also sometimes in Coffee Bean orrr My daddy always brought me to Dome when he feels like having the very nice Affogato, The italian espresso.But currently I feel like it was also nice having a fishcracker fishfillet in chilis :)

COSTA :)

                         

Life

Things taught me something today.
Don't expect the best and never expect the worst.
Waiting patiently and faithfully cause good things only come to those who wait.
Ugly things take time to get pretty.
That's why you have to wait.
Life is about loving those people who love you.
It's pointless loving people who can't love you.
Smile is the only way to hide your unhappiness.
But do it with all your heart.
Cry means you love that person so much.
When you can't stop crying, that's okay.
You are learning to be a proper human.
We make mistakes, we learn from them.
We regret, we stop doing them.But when it comes to you boy,
Regret will never be my word. 
The lesser you treat me nice, the more love I have for you.
The more hatred I have for coffee, the more interest I have to drink coffee.

Dearest friend

I wouldn't be calling you my best friend cause you just more than that . In fact , you're like a sister to me

I know that compared to all other abnormal girls out there , i'm the most problematic one but you never complained . you never get tired of being a crying shoulder to me. We've been together since form 1 and to tell you the very truth , you're are the best person i've ever met. I know that i'm never good in accepting advices, yours especially but just so you know you tell me one of the best advices in life . I appreciate every second being your friend. You complete my high school life and hopefully we're always gonna be friend until we die

Especially for : My Dorm-mate 

Not to forget  :  Ainaa Ismail who never get bored of giving 

                       her attention whenever i have things to  

                       share.

Change

In this life , people do change. Change for good or maybe the other way round. Maybe in my case, im unlucky. Those people who used to be close to me changed. I didn't ask for it and i know they did not too . I Have no power to change anything but the only things i can do is pray to God that one day they will realize how much i miss the old them . I know I have been complaining a lot abaout how annoying these people are, and i'm sorry. I just don't like it that you have to treat me this way
At the same time, I am thankful to God for having this one person in my life
You teach me the best lessons in the world about life and now I'm a bit stronger than before.
Thank you so much.

          I know life was never meant to be easy.. but i 

               never thought it would be this hard.

Strong

I know things are so hard for you right now. Things may be easy for me when I'm not in your position .
But God is fair, Insya Allah with all the prayers  things will be fine. I will not stop praying for better days for you . I promise.Unless I die.

Sugar Glider

oh yeah ! besides cat,I also have a sugar glider.
I never take him to get shower . 
So he got a very bad smell .
He eats apple.
He is just a very cute and active sugar glider.

I'm sorry

To you my love,

I'm sorry for hurting you again.

You're too good to me.

To tell you the truth,

I never stop thinking of you

How can i forget all that

When you're the one who make me smile

you always be apart of me

and you never get tired of listening every single things that i said.

       
                 

Room

I love my room now but I really miss my room in Oman.
It is not that beautiful but I could find peace and calm whenever I'm in there.
My room will look even nicer during evening.
The wind and the light is just so perfect to sleep
with the most comfortable comforter.

love thousand times

i love you abg just the way you are

He is very ambitious , hardworking and when it comes to work or studies ,
he put more than 110% of himself into it .
He drives his own car everywhere and he never burdened anyone
He is the man who works really hard to get whatever he want
I found his maturity is little bit too old  for his age
He taught me about fashion
He bought me so many branded things
He is the type of person who loves making jokes at the beginning , I just thought that his jokes were too silly for me to laught and also it is because i didn't understand what were his joke about

His family is lucky to have a son like him
His siblings are blessed to have a brother like him
His friends are adored to have friend like him

Those are the reasons i respect and love him so much .

                             

Superb

My 2nd brother . I grew up with him . We used to share our secrets and things together
He never complained everytime i asked him to do something
Yes, we do fight sometimes , but to be honest i always want to win n am really stubborn
But I don't know . Lately , it kinda have changed . I felt like missing him a lot .
He's always the handsome one
He's always doing great in dubai ALONE
He's doing really well in his studies n work
He has beautiful perfect hair
He gets all the good compliment even when he's just wear his pyjamas
He always take a very good care of me
He's tall n just perfect
He got a very beautiful skin
He always tried to give the best in everything for me
people seems to like him the most
He  got a perfectly beautiful fingers

I don't know whether you will ever read this
But if you do one day
just remember that i am blessed to have you
Without us the whole family , there'll be no life

Day with mummy n daddy

So yeaah, I had a rough day. I've been using my brain a lot today. I had so may thoughts about this and that. I woke up todaay, it was like at 12 noon. I went down and had my brunch. BIBIK ! she asked us to go up and kemas sana sini cause my bedroom was in mess. I went up and take a shower and kemas. It's clean and tidy now. Yayy. I was bored after that. Took out mySeventeen and Cleo magazines and baca.okayy.Then my daddy said ' diana , ikut jom pegi klcc ' ..oh why?? .. okay act my daddy really hopes to get to work in malaysia . so, thres an interview for job in mlysia . but at last my dad tolak bcause the salary was too low.:( n yeah my dad will go to Doha,Qatar this june for his job n seriosly i will miss him so much! pleasee , always rindu home n buy me the very latest bb :)) i love you. !


While waiting for my dad , me n mom shopping like crazayy..mom bought one new latest nine west bag . i was like...okayy...we ended up at nasi padang rest . After solat Asar we went to MAS ticketing offce to buy tickets to sydney,Australia . . actually we planned of going to New Zealand but the ticket to NZ - sold out :( so, the nxt choice was sydney Australia.

Good Day

Friday.a day after thursday. Had a tiring day. attending the london's programme seriously made me feels like dying. As i clearing up my inbox in my bb.I found this one text that used to caught my heart and will always do.

At 4.00 pm , jigs and jay came  to my house. jigs drives her car and fetched me at my house,heading to jay granny house , bookstore , n planning to watch priest but it's already too late.Well , the most scary part during our dayout was  when jay had an accident with a very expensive car..maigosh ! Then we had dinner together at chilis  and  like always my favourite would be firecracker fish fillet n as usual the drink must be lemonade.it was so fun to meet them again .:)

Dear Diary

Well , this is my first time creating a blog . currently, my life was totally boringg and that made me feels like writing about this freaking bored life. yess , life is a choice and let today be a thanksgiving . okayy . STOP talking about this misery life . Everything has changed . Honestly ! i hate it . tried to work things out but i failed . It was just so hard . i can't believe that im still feeling the same way . im out of my mind of how to show you n im just gonna let it be maybe . I don't wanna rush things and so i wanna take things very slowly .